On the current situation of rape in India

The scene is tense over the shocking rise in reported rapes from across the country. It is almost as if every case instigates two more. As a concerned citizen and a fortunate female, I am inclined to analyse where we as a society are going wrong. What justice is to be meted out to rapists, I do not intend to discuss, but what I do see is an urgent need for change, and that is what this article is about. I have tried to put forth a logical opinion, and your comments are more than welcome.

The ghastly accounts of these incidences make one cringe. As a girl it is terrifying to deal with the abomination: female foeticide on the one hand, rape on the other. Where does this misogyny stem from? The causes of rape can be explained in much depth and detail, but here is a short list:

·         Domination :- as a vent for aggression, oppression, tension due to socio-economic instability

·         Deprivation :- not only sexual, but even simply a healthy relationship

·         Desensitization :- lack of consequence, exposure to titillation

·         Deviation :- paedophilia, perversion, sadism as a result of monotony or lack of occupation

Domination is the most obvious cause, so I can safely assume it is understood. Deviation is increasingly being brought to the fore in more ways than one, the British crackdown on paedophiles being the most recent example. That is an issue I’ve chosen to deal with in another article.

Deprivation is commonly perceived as unfulfilled sexual desire. However in our society, I would say we deprive our children and youth of a healthy male-female bond. Gender roles almost always override personality and a discrete partition is maintained between boys and girls. Even before they hit puberty, boys need to assert themselves. They seek approval of everyone in general, and the one social section that denies them just that is girls. To the extent that it is natural, it is healthy in the view of natural selection. But when we bring up girls to fear and dislike males, we start a problem. Girls are expected to play with girls, grow up learning to cook and clean and care for the household; as women they are expected to respect and serve the males in the house unconditionally. As females they are forced to be insecure in the presence of males of any kind. A girl mingling with boys is unacceptable. At this rate, what love do we aspire to foster between the two?

Desensitization is a major contributing factor to the general social decadence. It is worrisome how numb we have become to the shock-and-awe tactics of the capitalist market and media. Gruesome violence and deliberate unnatural titillation has become mundane for the average Indian. You don’t have to hide your pornography anymore; why, television and ad agencies are more than happy to shove it in your face. Even toothpaste is sold by sexy vixens. Moreover, the lack of consequence lowers the risk attached to the undertaking. This is a three way incentive (for the lack of a better word) – the man stands to lose nothing, the woman tends to choose silence over stigma and the law and order keep running in circles over technicalities.

Why is rape such a big issue? It is both necessary and disheartening that such a fundamental question be asked. Necessary as it brings up questions and debates of various kinds of violations and disheartening because as already mentioned, we have lost our sense of identity and sold our integrity to capitalism. This might be a big accusation to make, but I have elaborated.

The world faces some pressing problems today – genocide, communal violence and oppression, terrorism to talk of human rights, and energy crisis, pollution, wildlife depletion in terms of the planet. Is rape really that grave a crime or is it media sensationalism? Well, it is entirely true that we need to take stock of our actions: we are violating the planet by misusing and over extracting its resources; violating our fellow organisms by destroying their habitats; violating our own kind by encroaching on their territory in the name of politics and religion. And now we question if something as basic as violating our own female counterparts is really that bad. I would say that is where it all begins. Nations can go to war over resources, people can go to war over religions. But a woman’s body is her own, she has but one body and one life to live in it. If she and others around her cannot learn to respect that, our hopes of solving our bigger problems are defeated. If men and women cannot prevent rape out of mutual understanding, how can we aspire to end larger violations and achieve world peace?

So as a statistic, more cases are reported from New York than New Delhi. South Africa, crime capital of the world, has the highest rate of 114.9 rapes per 100,000 people. Contrast this with 1.8 per 100,000 in India. Why are we making raising such a hue and cry? Firstly, nothing justifies rape – no statistic, cultural, comparative or moral reasoning can make it acceptable. Secondly, if you have to compare, let us look at the literacy and poverty rates of the two nations. South Africa has a female literacy rate of 92.2% while India stands at 65.5%. 31.33% of South Africans live under the international poverty line whereas 68.72% of Indians fall into that category. Naturally, these two social conditions prove to be barriers in public awareness. Not only do much fewer rapes get reported in India, much fewer people realise that rape is a crime! Meanwhile, the nightlife and drug abuse in India pale in comparison to that of New York or Johannesburg for that matter. Girls and young women are free to dress and behave according to their will, drink and stay out late. Rape is not the end of life, as females are allowed to make choices and take responsibility for their actions. In India, where premarital sex is a big deal, rape will certainly make headlines, especially knowing how protective we are of our daughters.

That brings me to the astounding double standards we Indians live by. Girls have to cover up to avoid arousing boys. They have to return home early for their own safety. They need parental consent to stay out of hostels while boys can turn up next morning and not bother to answer as to their whereabouts. They are strictly denied permission to conduct field surveys on nocturnal creatures whereas their male counterparts can go romancing the night. What message are we sending out to our generations? That it is absolutely alright for men to have their way-be it studying bats or drunk fights; women, however, are expected to vacate the scene, and they may rebel to their own peril. That it is justified for a boy to view a girl as meat, but the best she can do to avoid dire consequences is wear clothes that cover most of her. Pray what are we doing here?! Instigating men to be lustful and then ensuring women deny them the very things they crave!

Therefore, a man must assert his manhood, and a woman must steer clear of men and hide any signs of her sexuality. A man is expected to build character, career and even clout, while a woman is expected to give up her sense of self for the family and household. Males essentially possess ego and females essentially lack self-esteem. A young man who can court many girls is a player, a stud; a promiscuous girl, though, is labelled by her own peers as a bitch, a slut. The media is full of irrelevant female bodies in suggestive attire and positions (advertisements, item numbers, you name it), but a college girl in shorts is sent home as “she is attracting bad male attention and disrespecting Indian culture”. The cherry on top of it all is India, the world’s largest growing population, a burgeoning 60% of it in the reproductive bracket, is not at all enthusiastic about discussing sex with its youngsters.

This highly disturbing dichotomy is bound to have consequences. The great chasm created by global commercialism and cultural regression (don’t even bother to call it orthodox or conservative) leaves young minds confused and frustrated. We are feeding them with ideas of over sexed females audio visually, and surrounding them in reality with the exact opposite kind. Is it surprising then that they resort to acts of aggression? Some say legalising prostitution may help ease the tension. That is a rather thoughtless solution in my opinion. Rape is not merely an act of sexual release, and prostitution is not a small industry. Those who believe this will work are in favour of paying to rape prostitutes. Besides, it is proven time and again that rape does not need a time or provocation from the victim-it is an act of desperate impulse. If we cannot build a society where males and females can consensually engage in sexual activity, we are a rapidly multiplying failure.

The final question I’d like to deal with is this: What can we do to curb this spate? And my opinion is that we desperately need to bring up our children better.

Bring up the boys to respect girls and women as equals. Teach them to share responsibility of all kinds, regardless of gender. Sensitize them to the exclusivity of sex and the sanctity of the body. Allow them to develop healthy relationships with females of all ages.

Bring up the girls to respect themselves and accept their sexuality. Violation of any kind is not acceptable, and one is the only protector of one’s own body. Teach them to defend themselves-6% more muscle and a penis do not make a man invincible. Allow them gain perspective and take responsibility. Naturally, the more openly you guard your treasure, the more curiosity, greed and jealousy you breed. Allow them to develop healthy relationships with males.

We really need to check what we let ourselves be subjected to. Do we need pseudo nymphs to sell us clothes, fruit juice and movies? Does a well rendered political drama need moaning groaning faceless women to be humiliated in every episode? Is a woman only the sum of her bodily assets? Not only do we need to shield our children from these disgusting trends, but we also need to question our integrity when we choose to witness these everyday deviations and allow them to pass. The more forbidden a fruit, the more tempting its allure. We simply cannot afford to hide about sex; it is as essential a bodily function as eating and excreting. A dialog needs to be opened up between the experienced and the inexperienced in this regard.

I am neither a parent nor an experienced adult. I am, however, an observer, and the situation has shattered my peace of mind to an extent. Many thanks to the various people who discussed this issue with me and gave me much to think and write about. A fruitful discussion always ensues with varying opinions, and hence I welcome all kinds of views. Thank you for reading.

The Advent of Decadence

Here's something disturbing.

Humans seem to thrive on psychologically shock value. It excites, scares, makes you laugh, even. And, of course, is the source of fear. So when you know you're in for a heartstopping shock, you fear it. The unexpected shock scares us, and simply the unexpected excites us. Desmond Morris believes that laughter stems from a fraction of a second shock, followed by instant, overwhelming relief due to the sudden realisation that there is no danger.

However, these days, they say the joke has died. Any attempts to crack a simple joke are faced with a straight face, an irritated retort, or simply a look of disgust. The more thinking the joke demands, the less it resembles a joke. Where has the appreciation gone? Isn't it the people killing the joke? The joke has become like a much loved famous person who suddenly fell out of favour, and is now wandering on the streets in tatters, trying hard to survive. Nobody wants to look at, hear of, or talk about it.

Going beyond that, the once tabboo streakers, skimpy clothes, and risque displays are becoming the order of the day. You have people openly discussing sex. Girls wearing short (to say the least) shorts. And this is progress in a way. Of course, I shall have to write another post in this regard. But this deconstruction and demystification of hushed up issues is leading to exhaustion of shock value. So those secret conversations or that glimpse of a leg caught, a decade or two ago, would've

excited, titllated. No longer, though.

Now you have Katy Perry and Lady Gaga who rely on shock value more than anything to sell their music through in-your-face videos. Completely naked, or, even worse, in really kinky attire that tends completely towards perverse pornography. So such sexually charged shock value has become mainstream. And it sells, clearly because it is new, unexpected, unexperienced. Exciting to the masses. Revolting to me, if you care to find out.

What next? What after we're done with this pornographic phase? We might safely get bored to death. But much more likely, we might descend to violence. That exhausted shock value will be made up for by carnage. Decadence is one thing; this takes it to a new level. Sadists and masochists are not unheard of. Next you know, they'll be the big mainstream pop thing.

We need to look for escape routes. To save ourselves from self destructive sadomasochism. The least we can do is avoid being a proponent of such activities, practices, ideas. Boycott these desparate pornsters. Look around you; be more aware of the world; learn something new. Engage yourself in fulfilling activities. Think, write, share, discuss. And yes, I have to write another article on this point, too.

Thanks and regards,

Mallika

How much water do I use?

I decided to answer this question myself, on the 12th of February.

Equipped with a 1 litre mug, and a virtually unlimited supply of water, I measured all the water I used in 24 hours. This is the distribution:

Purpose Water in litres

Brushing: 3.5

Flushing: 18.5 (1 big, 4 small)

Bathing: 30

Lunchtime: 3

Dinnertime: 3

Others: 7 (washing hands, face, feet, wearing lenses)

Total: 65

There is no exact figure as to how much water is used on an average by individuals in Urban households on a daily basis.

Now, my effort will be to reduce my water usage, to start with, by 15 litres. Once I achieve this, I shall report how I did so.

I'm part of an Eco-Blogging competition!

Sounds like a wierd concept, eco blogging; But it's not the blogging that's eco friendly here, but the eco friendliness of the blogger. So here's what it's all about-
http://www.openspaceindia.org/ has organised this competition where people convert to an eco friendly lifestyle in all the practical and temporarily efficient ways they can, and blog about it. And there's one award for the most committed eco friendly effort, and one for the best blog. Now it is a matter of concern to me that I came across the poster a little late, but my eco friendly efforts had begun months before this contest came up. Never mind...
Now, I need to document all my efforts with pictures, vidoes, and blog posts. At the moment, I have no pictures or videos, but here's what I've been doing:

1. Composting biodegradable garbage in the house. We've always kept the biodegradable waste separate, but now, we're putting it in a pot with some soil, adding some water, and waiting for it to decompose so that we can use it for our little pot garden. And this is till we get our compact biomass digestor, which will make us independent of LPG. For more, please visit http://www.arti-india.org/
2. Using Compact Flourescent Lights. CFLs are huge energy savers, and when you use less energy, you reduce the demand for it. That is the need of the hour-reduce demand for the environmentally hazardous generation of energy.
3. Researching eco friendly houses. Everything from eco friendly energy to walls, roofs, rainwater harvesting, and a whole lot of things; it is every bit possible to become completely self sufficient in energy, food, and water. This obviously reduces the damage caused by large scale energy generation, food transport, and so on. And once I build my own eco friendly house successfully (yes, I am dead serious about this), I will work on developing entire eco friendly human settlements, including eco friendly industries.
4. Using public transport. That cuts down on not just the fuel consumption, but also the travel cost. I am also successfully encouraging my parents and friends to use public transport. It is pretty convenient, and leaves you hardly any excuse for non-punctuality.
5. Reusing one sided printed paper. I have entire notebooks binding paper printed or written on on one side. And I do use these for study purposes. This effort of mine has also been noticed by my friends, and they like it. You may not believe it, but using the blank sides of pamphlets, office printouts, and old school notebooks have served me for an entire academic year!
6. Refusing and reusing plastic. We have made it a point to carry cloth/paper/plastic bags with us, wherever we go, be it in the car, or the supermarket, or anywhere else. And we refuse to take any plastic bags to carry articles. In case we don't have a bag with us, we carry them in our hands. I also discourage my friends from accepting plastic bags, and offer to carry their stuff myself. Producing plastic is like wearing a noose around your neck- it's non biodegradable, and will choke all life on the planet to death!!
7. Blogging about the Global Environment Crisis. I have another blog http://tacklingtheterribletruth.blogspot.com which you can check out for more.

These are my own independent efforts so far. More efforts related to the competition begin tomorrow. The next post will include descriptions of these efforts, and pictures and videos of efforts mentioned today. I am participating in this event, not with winning on my mind, but to get new ideas, and execute them, with motivation. That's all for now!

Good, Boy, and Girl Friends

Teenage girls and boys naturally get attracted to each other and have crushes. Some enter into relationships. But what most of us ignore is the fact that friendship can exist between a boy and a girl who like each other and they need not have a relationship. This is because, in a relationship, understanding, sharing, and caring- all aspects common to friendship- are equally important as compromise, commitment, love, and bonding- things that may not be part of friendship and may require more than what teenagers can or should get involved into.

A boy and a girl can be good friends by sharing an emotional bond and yet not be a couple. However, in the surge of stupid, corny emotions that are characteristic to teenage, the idea of being just friends rather than a couple is washed away, only to be fished out a few years later, when one can recognise the difference between love and crushes. Then, as adults, we find out how many good friends we can have from the other gender and yet not fall for them.

I can confidently say so because if one takes a good, open minded look around, we can see so many adults, married or otherwise, emotionally very close or open to people from the opposite gender. It doesn't necessarily mean that they are in a 'relationship'. In fact, they share a very unique, sacred relationship that is very strong and vastly different from love or lust.

Footpath Faltugiri!!

It begins with Mr. Kalmadi beautifying the city in preparation for the Commonwealth Youth Games. Our Pashan Sus road, already a 'development' hotspot, got quite a facelift. Our long pending, halfway through road widening was completed, a fragment of the vast open expanse on one side of the road was utilised. The undivided road was wide enough for a good helipad, excluding the footpaths, wide enough for three mes to lie down comfortably, head to toe. One side has been developed into a wonderful promenade with a grass lawn running along the footpath for a good half kilometer. Lovely lamps adorn the edges of the footpath and young peepul saplings line the lawn along with other multicoloured leafy plants. There are sophesticated benches and garbage bins at an interval of 5 metres.

The morning sees the sprinklers coming on and the golden sunshine shimmering on the wet grass. Walkers, joggers, cyclists are abundant. The evening brings in families, friends, couples, individuals, camera bearers, dog walkers to enjoy sunset and the time beyond with a not-so-uncommon treat to kulfi or chana or their own picnic baskets! Well, here's showing you how we make the best of it all-

We sit on the benches and

• Chat
• Debate
• Sing
• Joke
• Act stupid!

Now you know what I mean.



We love our Footpath!

Series

Another Series has come to an end- giving me more than just a good reading experience. In fact, it has left me with a lot of things to cope with; which comes as no big surprise, as most books end with the reader struggling with the dilemma. The Twilight saga is my latest read, preceded by the Inkheart Trilogy and the Harry Potter series. The good part about all the three series has been the fact that I am one of the first 100 readers or so. That helps me to maintain unbiased, unprejudiced ground while reading the books*. Harry Potter, of course, was the first ever novel I read, at the age of 7. In the case of the Inkheart Trilogy, I began as a critic and ended up as a fan. As for the Twilight Saga, I am yet to decide.

Well, what does the series leave me with? What do I get from reading a single story, continued over several books? The answer, as I said, is 'a lot'. So, instead of burdening you with long, not-so-juicy paragraphs, I am giving you a list (which, I hope, is crisp enough):

• A series gives you an individual style of writing. The combination of sentence structures, choices of words, descriptions, et cetera, is unique to every writer. And these styles and their analysis gives me good variety to feed on!
• The whole process of waiting for the next in the series can be quite exciting and thoroughly rewarding, if you know what I mean.
• The longer a series, the more involved are the fans*. Forums, dicussions, events, products, movies, are all part and parcel of successful series. And that certainly adds to the value.
• The characters become a prominent part of the readers' lives. Sometimes as friends, sometimes as crushes, sometimes as advisors, and at others, as fears. And oh yes, they can even be role models, confidantes (though imaginary), ideal partners and so on.
• The words, events and characters in the books surely have some impact, some influence, in our lives, big or small. There are some unforgettable quotes, unimagined situations, admirable traits that invariably stick with you, long after the books may even have been forgotten.

*1- I can safely say that because I am pretty unenthusiastic about the Eragon series, because I did not get to reading it when I wanted to, and I lost the desire to read it once I watched the movie and heard others about the books.

*2-The same cannot be said of the Princess Diaries; the thing just streches, why, drags on and on and on! It just gets too boring, too much to bear with.

Well, with that, all I can add to conclude with is my open invitation to any and all criticism, debate, and (rare) agreement.

Look what the recession brought me!

Recession. We're all pretty used to this word by now, I suppose. And what do we relate it to? Loss of jobs, capital, shares, trade, markets, opportunities. Only loss. How about some gains? Well, I did gain something from the recession. Some lessons in market trading or job hunting, you'll say. No; I'm talking about simple gains here.

We visited the Mall. Mighty, Expensive, Branded Mall. With Designer and Branded Outfits (what happened to the clothes?) hanging high on display. Look around. Spot a good Outfit. Look at its tag and sigh. Let go. Move on. Aren't there more practical clothes, more practical prices; more simplicity? Oh, what are you thinking of? You're in a mall, son. Mighty, Expensive, Branded Mall.

My parents never bother about the prices when they buy from the mall. 'High quality, high prices' they say and justify the expenditure coolly. But I do mind the prices. i do bother about them. Ever heard of 'Good quality, good prices'? Well, anytime and every time we buy something for me from a mall, I feel guilty. But this time, I didn't. Thanks to recession.

Back to The Mighty Mall. All the sides are plastered with 50% off posters. Inside, the Outfits have descended from their high hangers. It's a pitiful sight. Half the mall is empty and unlit. The other half has a few staff persons lingering around like a few last bees that linger around a broken beehive hoping to reclaim their honey. The Outfits are lying stuffed in large cardboard boxes and bins; some are scattered on the floor.
I pick up some Beatles T-shirts. They are up for half their price. I happily purchase them. No guilt!
At the supermarket, Baskin Robbins is selling their ice creams at half their price. We indulge in the rich treat very frequently.
What has the recession brought you?

Real Bloggers

I've recently surfed blogs. And found very few worthy of reading (I do not claim to be a good blogger, myself, either). However, about the few good blogs I found, I did not fail to observe what made them stand out; what made them interesting; what made them real. This is what I observed:

• Effective Expressiveness

These bloggers are capable of effectively expressing their thoughts and opinions. Their descriptions are not repetitive or uninteresting. What they put down makes you want to read on, read more.

• Likeable Lingo

The words, phrases and other aspects of writing are catchy; unusual; imaginative; creative. So what if they are invented by none other than the blogger? As long as they make reading the post a pleasure, they are a plus point.

• Cool Candour

If the writing contains some good candour, it really is appreciated by the reader. Nobody is perfect. And candour only emphasises this truth. It is crucial in strengthening the reader-blogger bond. This is one blog populariser!

• Wit Works

Some blogs are pouring wit! Some others are just sprinkled with some. Either way, wit is instrumental in making a post a good read. Be it sarcasm, humour, embarassment, mocking, any kind of catching-the-reader-off-guard thing really works.

• Relevance Rules

Whatever be the blog about, the posts must have some relevance; some relevance to the time; to today's world; to the reader. Any kind of rambling is certainly not recieved well. It must be relevant.

Any more suggestions?

Blogging Successfully

Although this is more of a note to myself, I'd like to share what I think makes for a good blog and welcome feedback from all readers. So here's what I can think popular blogs are made of:

• Good Layout

The template, font, text size and colours are the first things noticed by the reader. If these are not appealing enough, it discourages the readers. The colour combinations should also enhance visibility, not hamper it. The whole overall appearance needs to be attractive; and although the idea of attractiveness varies in genders and even individuals, one can clearly make out which blog grabs attention and which doesn't.

• Good Writing

It is the single most important ingredient of the blog. The appearance of the blog is like the makeup on an actor. What really matters is the writing, the contents. Please refer to my next post, Real Bloggers, for more.

• Good Thinking

What you write reflects what you think. A blogger must give every post a good second thought before publishing it. The amount of thinking that goes into every post can easily be made out. The more thoughtful the post, the more interesting it turns out to be. Once again, please refer to the next post.

• Gathering an Audience

Once you publish a post, however good it may be, it needs an audience. And as far as I have observed, readers need to be invited to read your posts. So there are three ways of doing it:

1. Informing and inviting your friends to read your blog.
2. Mailing updates to your contacts every time you post or something of that sort; and the most effective way being

Reading and commenting on other peoples' blogs, inviting them directly or indirectly to read and comment on yours.

• Interaction

Last, but not the least, comes interacting with your readers. They are being very nice to you by reading your blog and commenting on it. Returning this kindness will only boost your image and increase your popularity. It is a very important aspect of blogging (atleast in my opinion).

Well, that's all for now.

Cribbing!

I have quite a few reasons to crib:

1. I'm running out of topics to blog about! And that is one of the reasons why this is turning into a post.
2. There's noone reading my blog-I have to face it. I really want my blog to be useful; I want to debate, criticize, discuss with people and not just have some stupid one sided correspondence!
3. Forget my blog-I'm finding hardly any readable blogs! Where do the popular bloggers get good blogs on their lists from? Half the blogs are in all other languages apart from English and the other half are Advertising blogs!
4. Back to me (God, I hate this!) I realise fully well that I don't write half as well as most bloggers do-nothing interesting which will make anyone want to read my writing!
5. Over the last two years, I've thought over and over again and promised myself that I shall never write such utter rubbish on my blog; but here I've ended up, so desparate that I'm actually posting it.
6. It's my BIG summer vacation, a fruit of my BIG study year of standard 10, and I've accomplished almost none of the goals that I'd planned to- this is not turning out to be half the fun I intended it to be!
7. I'm consuming tablets for some slight hormonal imbalance-and that's really an unnecessary concern and cost for my parents.
8. Lately, I've only been crying-beginning right from my Geometry examination where I lost 4 marks, losing my I-pod, gynac consultations, to my mother's words. When will it get a little dryer?
9. I'm wasting time playing games, posting crap like this, watching TV and thinking about unnecessary things...
10. There are very few people to interact with. I'm unable to contact the people I really want to talk to or meet them, either.

That, I guess, is enough frustration for one post.